I Bought My Dream Car
I bought my dream car….
When I was a little girl I loved to play with barbies. If it wasn’t incredibly weird I probably still would. One of my favorite things to do was have my barbie dolls “drive around town” in their cool cars. One of those cars was a Pink Jeep with the rooftop off. Something in me at a really young age said, someday I too will have a Pink Jeep with the rooftop off.
Well I didn’t buy a Pink Jeep but instead my second favorite option, white.
I wrestled with purchasing this car. I didn’t know how people would respond to it. Being the Executive Director of a non-profit I didn’t want to come off as too flashy or as a poor steward of my money. I was talking with one of my close friends about it, and they bluntly said, “Ash, get the Jeep - you work hard, you deserve it.”
While I don’t think there is much I deserve in life, I take each thing I have as a gift - I do work hard. When I think about work, I think back to just over 7 years ago where I was on the brink of graduating from college. My plan was to be married after school, start having kids and eventually cart those kids around town (not in a minivan). That clearly did not happen. However, what had happened was a deep ingrained lie that I was not going to be capable of doing anything other than marriage and kids.
Pause. Hear me well...being both a wife and a mother are amazing gifts and I hope someday to do them both. I am not downplaying the tremendous work both demand. However, I saw them both as defaults because I was made to believe I was incapable of doing anything else.
As I walked into the dealership to purchase my dream car, I recalled some of those lies and thought to myself:
You were wrong. I am so much more than what people see on the outside.
I didn’t need you to help me get here. My identity is not wrapped up in who I am with or without you. It’s in Christ.
I am capable. I am smart. I am a hard worker. I have gifts that can be used.
I am right where I need to be. Period. And it’s my choice.
Relationships with people can be messy. Sometimes I don’t think we realize how much we have been manipulated into believing things that just simply aren’t true. It is not until we are on the other side of it that we can see that. I am so thankful I have had the opportunity to do just that.
As I “ride around town” I remember that little girl deep inside of me who played make-believe with her barbies and her Pink Jeep. I think back to the dreams and aspirations she had long before someone told her she couldn’t. I think about little girls and boys today who too are dreaming dreams and making plans for the future. I hope myself and others can do a good job of encouraging those dreams. That we don’t put people in boxes, that we don’t add unrealistic timelines and expectations. That we simply embrace each season that each young man or young woman finds themselves in.
I bought my dream car, and I don’t have a much better reason other than I set out to do it a long time ago. The reality is it’s about so much more than the car - it’s about finding value in work and knowing I too can contribute in ways I never imagined.
You are capable. You are free to dream. YOU have something to add to this world, so get going!